Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
