Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
