Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
