Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
