My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
