eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
