A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
