well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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