I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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