Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
