i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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