he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
