i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
