areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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