You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
