remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
