I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
