i don't like sucking hair
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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