I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
