Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
