i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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