You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
