Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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