Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
