i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
should my penis look like a turkey
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
