Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
