There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
