ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
