I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
