he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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