I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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