Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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