I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
