He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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