My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
