All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
