Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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