im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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