Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
false alarm, still single
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
