Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
