$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Mom said you looked used
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
