we have pet lesbian snakes
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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