So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
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