Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
