And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
