get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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