Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
