the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
