she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
