just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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